nicholas shelton

nicholas shelton, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I did my first guy-only shoot yesterday. It was actually very challenging, because men photograph so much differently than women. It was nice to have Terri Lodge on the shoot, who has 10 years of experience as a makeup artist. Anyhow, this photo was shot outdoors and if you can't tell- it was freezing, freaking cold out.

Also! I just found out that his NY agency is going to use this as his new comp card! I am sooo excited!

To see more of Terri Lodge's work, follow this link: http://www.beautybyterri.com/

Short Cut Home

California looks beautiful on our way home. Landscapes are painted melon yellow, orange and green. The skies are full of clouds, but not the swollen, angry kind; these clouds could just as well be handed out on sticks to little children. I can see their sticky, happy faces already*
We're hoping to get home by a straight shot- I-5 all the way home, through snow or shine. (in all likelyhood it will be the former).
Luckily, I have found a short-cut, or more precisely- a way to pass the time away- taking pictures ( : but these aren't just any pictures, see. These are vintage-like photos through this $0.99 program I found through my I-phone app's.
Anyhow, I will be posting some pics up from my newly discovered short-cut.
Merry Christmas!!!

Arriving Stupid

We planned for a 9 hour trip. Of course, we expected the usual delays- extra pee trips and such- but when it took us well over 20 hours drive time to arrive in San Fran we knew this would be a special Christmas ( :
Jelani was a real trooper since he had to do most of the driving due to my infamous car sickness. To our relief I did not puke once- the entire ride down!
Once we payed the troll fee (they really do charge to enter) we began to relax. The drive is finally over, we thought. And oh what a hopeful thought that was.
We found our hotel immediately and drove off into the sunset to find our parking garage. 1 1/2 blocks down and take right, the Chinese receptionist said in a thick accent. Sure, I said, smiling. I skipped off in confidence.
To my surprise, I was to drive into the wrong parking garage where we parked, walked down a few flight of stairs and searched for an attendant to give our ticket to.
You're in the wrong garage, they said, stampin our foreheads with a large stamp: "Stupid Tourist".
We hid our faces from the line of locals parked in the Right garage and slinked back to our car. They charged us for that little escapade*
A few.... oh, 40 minutes later, we happily handed our keys to the correct attendant- sheepishly wiping our foreheads.

appliqué

This photo sort of reminds me of my friend Caylan. She was interested in fine-art photography way before I ever expressed interest. I remember she used to have this book- it was a collection of very sensual, intimate photos... but classy at the same time.

Anyhow, this one goes out to Caylan***

the race

touch me
will you?

taste me
with your breath
and your fingers
like a negative
in the
dark.

expose me
will you?

sliding finger-

prints
across my undeveloped
skin
with unskilled,
untrained
strokes.

dip me
will you?

beneath the silent
liquid

with your scent
seeping deep
into
the film
of memories
half forgotten.

reaching
reaching to find
what you placed there

holding me up to the light
to remember.

Zoe Series

Zoe Series, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I have been envisioning these photos that capture "movement" and expectation". Zoe did such a good job of interpreting this for me. I really feel like we capture something in this shot. Anyhow, it was so much fun meeting Holly Stalder, the designer of this dress, and working with her clothes. They're all so soft and romantic... the kinds of clothes I would make if I didn't have two left thumbs * )

check out more from this shoot on my flickr!

Lautrec

Lautrec, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

Janeane brought some gold material and told me to play with it, "try shooting through it" she suggested. The material did not look see-through at all, until I put it right in front of a light. I was surprised to get such a gorgeous shot. This was the first test.

Pinup Anna

I wish I had a black viewer- it's a much nicer contrast framed in black. anyhow, this was one of my favorite shots from the Janeane Marie shoot. Her hair and the top... everything came together to give this Pin-up feel. She is so stunning too. I've seen Anna pull off many different looks.

couture memoirs - by paolo roversi - for vogue italy

couture memoirs - by paolo roversi - for vogue italy, originally uploaded by fashion.inspiration.

This is my favorite photographer. I try and keep up with his latest works. It can be seen everywhere... just saw a great new add in Vogue by him. anyhow. Just thought I'd post this.

Party triptic

party- triptic, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I think this will make a nice spread. It really focuses in on the details of Janean's tops and yet, it contains sooo much atmosphere.

errin green

First of 6 models from this shoot. We were at J's studio, but once I set up the lights and backdrop I had to make a trip to the bathroom. I noticed this room on my way- with the lift and the chairs, so I decided to shoot Errin here instead.

PS: Click on the photo to view larger!

Designs by: Janeane Marie

We had originally planned for a 5 hour day, but ended up shooting for nearly 7. There were fittings, missing Mua's... you know, the usual for this kind of thing ( :

Anyhow, I am going to be editing a few different editorial type series' so I thought I'd start with a basic shot of the girls:

from left to right we have: Errin, Heather, Lauren and Kasey Owens.

Your thoughts? - read this.

stalkings, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

So, I recently received an email from a... let's call him a mentor... I opened the email with excitement, wondering what he would have to say. It was not that kind of email, however.
The sole purpose of his email was to express his anger toward me. In so many words, he explained that I "clearly ripped him off" and have stolen his photographic techniques. In a few short sentences he made it very clear that I had offended him by my collection of black and white portraits. And let me tell you, I was stunned. I mean, I literally stared at the email for 3 minutes before remembering to take a breath.

He wrote that he'd been approached by several people who asked him if my pictures were his and when they found out they were not, said "it's exactly like yours". He went on to say that he felt upset that I chose to copy his techniques "pixel for pixel" before concluding that I am tactless.

*sigh.

My first response was to feel hurt. His email was obviously written out of anger and I understood immediately that he felt taken advantage of. But the truth is, I don't understand how he could make, or arrive to such claims.

First of all, I do not know how he processes his photos. More precisely, I have never seen him do so. We did meet in person a couple months ago, however to discuss his photography- at which point he shared his approach, technique and photographic goals. I absolutely loved his work. I did then, I do now. I was ecstatic to learn more about him. I even asked for his analysis on other famous photographs and how they were lit, shot, et cetera. He was very open to share his thoughts with me.

He told me that he likes to make his model's comfortable, often offering them a glass of wine. His favorite shots are candid. He shoots through objects, such as screen, glass and lace. He shoots mainly film- but uses digital as well. These are all things I know about him. All the "techniques".

Even if I had run home and stocked my cupboards full of cabernet and zinfandel- purchased lace, glass, and my own screen door- even if I had run out to buy a bunch of vintage, film cameras- if would have been my prerogative to do so. BUT I DIDN'T! I didn't begin romancing my models with wine, shopping for Holgas, or any of that! I do, however, shoot in black and white at times, YES. I do take portraits, YES. I have shot through lace, YES. That is the whole point of learning, right? So, please, somebody, anybody, everybody, tell me: does that make me a thief? An artistic sellout?

I am simply flabbergasted, frustrated, hurt. It is very difficult to have one's artistic integrity attacked.
As Ezra Pound once said "Utter originality is, of course, out of the question." So, who are any of us to talk?

season of "ignoring"

Third post today. Obsessive compulsive, I know. I am feeling really emotional today though. I ran inside the house just now, intending to grab a bite to eat, then run to the store. Grocery, clothing, whatever. Any store will do. And then, as I was heating up my coffee, it dawned on me: this is what I do. I shop when I am suppressing things. The challenge, now that my coffee is hot and ready to go, is for me to sit down and relax. And, if possible allow myself to feel something.

So many emotions pour in; there's pain, anger, guilt, confusion. I grasp for some kind of sense, explanation, control. I am always clamoring for control. I must KNOW why I feel what I feel in order to REIN it back in. This is how I function and though it makes for a lot of indigestion and the occasional ulcer, it's also what gets me by.

In class today my African American Lit. Professor pointed out the beautiful function of writing in post-slavery years. "It was a form of free expression," she said. "It was their way of rising above their circumstance." I was touched by her words and quickly located a pencil to write down this revelation, this common sense description that impressed- so impressed me.

Perhaps this is why I am still here. Writing. I am writing and thinking, yes, thinking too.

I am in the middle of a holiday season. I stand only 1 week past Thanksgiving and 3 from Christmas. I listen to strange tunes on the radio, such as "All I want for Christmas is a Hippopotamus" that make me smile for nearly 4 minutes in traffic. I also notice more of my surroundings, the change in design of Starbucks and other stores. I've noticed wreaths, lights and dove-stamped cups in Portland. I have taken a picture of a few. And the whole world seems, happier, softer somehow.

It's when I think about Thanksgiving that some of this fades. I remember my sister crying in the kitchen over the most amazing mashed potatoes I've ever tasted. I remember my Aunt reaching a gentle hand to her shoulder as I quietly stepped back, out of reach and out of earshot. I tasted my potatoes and smiled at Grandma sitting in the other room. I imagined my nieces crying for their mother, wondering why she couldn't take them home for Christmas.

It's when I think of brothers and sisters I won't see this year, that Christmas tunes lose their appeal. I won't see them, touch them, hear their voices. There will be an empty spot in my memories for them this year.

I have always treated the holidays as the season of "ignoring". Ignore the pain, ignore the losses, ignore the aches. I feel pressured to be an electronic greeting card, that sings a merry tune upon request. And what a shame too, because if anything, the holidays should be a time of honesty, comfort and community. It should be the time for family and friends to gather and mend each others wounds.

So, I'm going to think on that for a bit. I mean, truly think on it. No self-medicated shopping for me, at least today ( :

I just wanted to clarify: I know that every once in a while pro-photos are posted of my gnarly face all pretty upped.

This photo is to put the rumors to rest. No, I am not a model. And no, I actually still don't wear makeup. This is me about to head out for class. And yes, that is a gigantic zit on my chin.

Tootaloo.

L

Ever Amber

Model: Amber Prehn
Makeup and Hair: Mich'l Bauxel

I had so, so, so much fun on this shoot. Amber generously arrived with a bottle of organic Zindafel, which gave the entire evening a casual atmosphere. It was like hanging out and making new friends. Mich'l was such a sweet, cheerful artist, a wonderful listener and meticulous stylist. Can you believe we came up with that hairstyle just 20 minutes previous? Anyhow, a few very, very good photos were born and these are just a couple examples.

So, as I often say: more to come ( :

Bright Idea

When we first decided to paint out house, the first question Jelani posed was, "can it not be green?" Caylan and Travis Wagar, our amazingly talented, painterly friends dropped off some color samples for us to skim through. After an entire 15 collective minutes I decided on "bright idea" as the color for our living room. Here is a picture of our new living area:



While I don't remember the name of our bedroom and newly painted bathroom, I think we all agreed that it is quite bright. It seems to cheer things up quite a bit.



Anyhow, thanks so much Caylan and Travis, for all your help and master rolling skills. Love you guys.

Explode A La Mode

Explode A La Mode, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I attended this fall's Explode a La Mode fashion show last night. Josh Jones did a fabulous job of directing the show, which drew a full house. Several designers set up shop with jewelry, purses and clothes for guests to browse after they picked up a mixed drink at the bar. However, there were a few bumps in the road, which delayed the show about an hour and left the audience confused about the first couple of designers. Needless to say, the turnout did not seem phase by these problems and everyone stayed throughout the show.

These were some of my favorite designers and clothes.

Greek Lauren

Greek, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I had a fabulous shoot with Caylan and a couple of her friends last weekend. I forgot to post the pics, so here is one of the last shots of the day. Lauren is not a model by profession, but as you can tell in this photo, she is an actress. Her expressions are so natural and genuine. This was my favorite shot from the day.

Mua: Caylan Wager
Model: Lauren

Flash Dance

Flash Dance, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

This was the other model, who is just beginning her book. This was one of her strongest shots.

A Few Last Strings

I am ashamed to say it, but the truth is, I am growing bored with school. It may have something to do with my terrible tendency to procrastinate (say that 10 times fast) but yes, it's true- the pre-req's I so happily put off till these last couple of terms have shown up- as promised- to haunt my last few months at PCC.
And what's worse, I do believe something like fear is beginning to take hold of me, causing my inhibitions to swell like hives and aggravate. You see, according to Plan A 1/2 I should be moving onto PSU Spring term. I should be itching to sport a quarter pound notebook of beautiful, clean paper to my swell, upper level courses over on the University campus this April, yet I find myself stalling. I find myself distracted by all sorts of these, a few of which, I may call "renewed dreams". As a matter of fact, some of you may have heard me talking about these dreams lately. Dreams to act, dreams to set a new course toward photographer and finally, dreams to set time absolutely, peacefully still.
But I'm still not sure if the first two are possible.

Needless to say, if all of this is not a fowl consequence of fear, then I do have quite a dilemma at hand, because Spring term is quickly approaching. Of course, Math and Biology to tend to slow things down a bit and it looks like Winter hasn't much else to offer.

Photographer in Action

Lavenda in action, originally uploaded by Lauren Hurt.

In case you can't tell from the messy hair and the unattractive floor pose- that is me on the ground there.
Caylan came up for a shoot yesterday, which we had scheduled with a couple of models and a shadow-photographer. Unfortunately, one of the models canceled. To my pleasant surprise however, the shadow-photographer volunteered to model! We were able to get some great beauty shots out of both model, which I will post soon!

My Sister

Promise, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

This was one of my favorite shots from my shoot with promise. I'm still not done with that batch, so I'll post more later.

More from Heather Lusia Test Shoot

Proper

, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

This is one of my faves from a shoot this Tuesday. We didn't have a makeup artist on hand, but the shoot ended up being very fun and relaxing anyhow! We tried several different looks and this was the last one. My fave!

Promise- my sister

, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

Hey! Just did a test shoot with Promise this weekend. We came out with a variety of photos. I'm very excited to see her take off in modeling. Anyhow, you can check out more of her pics on my flickr page! Just follow the link ( ;

The Truth about Obama's views on Abortion

First of all, I would like to say that, yes, I am Pro-life. However, I do not see it as a black and white issue. Just as people used the bible to enforce slavery and segregation for generations, today they wield the bible in order to condemn women making very difficult, private decisions. I don't think that our standing around- pointing fingers at one another is the answer. I don't think advocating abortion is correct either. I think living life, loving eachother and offering grace to one another is the best way to approach this issue. Let's start from our own communities, one neighbor at a time.

Anyhow, there is always a bunch of political slander circulating the news and internet so close to the upcoming election and I would like to clarify at least this one question: where does Obama stand on abortion?

It seems that many people are willing to elect a candidate for their stance on just a few political issues, rather than their entire political stand point. I think this is a grave mistake. Politicians have a way of blinding us to their faults by distracting us with issues close to our hearts and high on our moral lists.

So, for those of you willing to hear the truth behind the slander and the slanted truths, here you go:



Obama's Response:

“The issue of abortion, I don’t think, has gone away. People think about it a lot, obviously you do and you feel impassioned. I think that the American people struggle with two principles: There’s the principle that a fetus is not just an appendage, it’s potential life. I think people recognize that there’s a moral element to that. They also believe that women should have some control over their bodies and themselves and there is a privacy element to making those decisions.

“I don’t think people take the issue lightly. A lot of people have arrived in the view that I’ve arrived at, which is that there is a moral implication to these issues, but that the women involved are in the best position to make that determination. And I don’t think they make it lightly. I don’t think they make it callously, so I reject a comparison between a woman struggling with these issues and Michael Vick fighting dogs for sport. I don’t think that’s sort of how people perceive it.

“Now, this is one of those areas – again, I think it’s important to be honest – where I don’t think you’re ever going to get a complete agreement on this issue. If you believe that life begins at conception, then I can’t change your mind. I think there is a large agreement, for example, that late-term abortions are really problematic and there should be a regulation. And it should only happen in terms of the mother’s life or severe health consequences, so I think there is broad agreement on these issues.

“One area where I think we should have significant agreement is on the idea of reducing unwanted pregnancies because if we can reduce unwanted pregnancies, then it’s much less likely that people resort to abortion. The way to do that is to encourage young people and older people, people of child-bearing years, to act responsibly. Part of acting responsibly – I’ve got two daughters – part of my job as a parent is to communicate to them that sex isn’t casual and that it’s something that they should really think about and not think is just a game.

“I’m all for education for our young people, encouraging abstinence until marriage, but I also believe that young people do things regardless of what their parents tell them to do and I don’t want my daughters ending up in really difficult situations because I didn’t communicate to them, how to protect themselves if they make a mistake. I think we’ve got to have that kind of comprehensive view that says family planning and education for our young people and so forth – to prevent teen pregnancies, to prevent the kinds of situations that lead to women having to struggle with these difficult decisions and we should be supportive of those efforts. That’s an area where there should be some agreement.”

waves

waves, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I was very excited to shoot on Jelani's 9 foot background. We set it up behind the house with a couple of lights. In this photo, I only used the beauty dish to give it an ethereal "moonlit" feel. She looks as if she's dancing in the water...

Me and Jelani

The Dance, originally uploaded by AhavatHaEmet.

This is a picture of me and J from a wedding last month. We had so much fun that night!

Follow the link to see more from this photographer!

Anna

anna headwrap-1, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

Hooray! I think I have finally made a connection... I just heard from one of the model's I've worked with that her agent is interested in my photography. He may have some work for me with their agency doing "test shoots" with new models. I'm not sure how much this pays yet, but I plan to contact him this week! I'll post more later.

What to Do in School

I am feeling very confused right now. I took a couple years off after high school with the intent to settle on a career goal, before entering college. I had a short list including, counseling, writing, teaching and (don't laugh) acting. Photography was not even in the picture back then. Anyhow, I have been on course for these past two years, working towards a bachelor- majoring in Eng. Lit. and minoring in Spanish. My trip to Spain earlier this year was a major wake-up call however, so the latter has since been crossed off the list.
Back in school this term, I find myself squelching the urge to #1 bury myself in my books, only coming up for air to greet my lovely husband, or #2 pass out my business cards (for photography) to everyone I meet in the streets, grocery stores and hallways of my school. Sadly, #3 writing all the books I hope to write before I die, has gone MIA. It's as if I am two, possibly three people, all with separate ambitions, talents and goals, yet all collaged into one! And I don't know if that makes me a 2 dimensional person or not, but I am definitely beginning to feel a need to burst out into a new level of life. If it's out there.
For now, I look forward to reaching through whatever these current barriers are, incorporating old passions with the new and creating a life of energy, discovery and growth!

Lauren

Lauren, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I finally found a model who was willing to experiment with me!!! Lauren and I went to the river today and simultaneously fought off those little flea-like sand jumper bugs while taking lots and lots of pictures. We were even mauled by a couple of dogs at one point. Despite the undesirable conditions, Lauren came through (and so did the gorgeous sun)!

Zoe

zoe, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

What a name. What a model.
I am very excited to be moving forward in Portland's small "fashion world". Right now I am still working to build my port, meet people and trade a lot of services. Luckily, I am meeting great professionals along the way who make the journey worth it!

Sauvie's Island

theater, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

Ah. I just started school on Monday and after making a very strict goal not to shoot "too much" while in school, I drove the 40-so minutes to Sauvies Island to shoot these four, beautiful models for FIVE hours of gorgeous light. Today, I am back at school! ( *

The wardrobe pieces are actually unfinished models of local design student, Korina Mae.

Moe Kirimura One of Japanese Sexy Girls

Moe Kirimura One of Japanese Sexy Girls

Terraced

Terraced, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

I was looking through some old photos and came across this one. I love the coinciding poem. I will post it ( :

So unlike home- this people-
dotted-city.
face-filled streets
swelling

past the signs
into the metro
where they paint the station's
blue plastic seats

Mami Matsuyama Sexy Japanese teenage idol

Mami Matsuyama born December 19, 1988 is a Japanese teenage idol. Matsuyama cosplayed as Mao Ran, a character in a video game titled Fighting Beauty Wulong

sunset sky

sunset sky, originally uploaded by lavendamemory.

did you know that the word "bokeh" is derived from a Japanese word meaning blurry? The first shot I ever took with my 50mm 1.8 seemed like a dream. I was in awe of the ethereal quality the photo took on by creating this "blur" behind or in front of my subject. When I asked my husband about this he revealed the definition of bokeh to me for the first time.

Maki Goto Hot J-pop singer

Maki Goto born September 23, 1985 in Edogawa, Tokyo, Japan is a J-pop singer currently signed to the sublabel Rhythm Zone under the Avex Trax label. Before joining Avex, she was a soloist of Hello! Project and member of Morning Musume. She has performed in numerous Hello! Project subgroups such as Petitmoni, Akagumi 4, 7-nin Matsuri, Sexy 8, Gomattou and Nochiura Natsumi.